Why Not Be Utterly Changed Into Fire?

These poems, these... thickly drawn lines.
These words that leave my heart clanging against my rib cage and
I can't help but feel so earthbound and filthy in my skin,
while feeling so free and very... loved. very treasured.
It's delectable. The kind of treat you can't keep yourself.
The kind of rarity you want to share... you want to make a commonality.


and I talk about Love and desires for the best and the sweetest of intentions.
I scream about dirt and I cry about torn rags.
Here, with You, it all gets turned to gold.
Never because I asked but always because you know.
I am well known, even my secrets are safely unsettled.


Ever feel it so deep down in your soul? Ever felt anything so deep?
A well so core-stricken that you must go to the very center of the earth
to reach the endless spring?

And when you just don't feel like much of anything at all,
there it is again.. all that fire and water. all those diamonds in the middle of that darkness and those dingy rocks. Love shows up. Truth walks in. Peace comes knocking. Joy won't quit calling. Trust won't relent, release, or let go. They're all there, it's all that...


You really are all of that. and so much more. I don't know what else to say. A rambling and mad lunatic, self-made from ever keeping a single thought about You, an inkling of truth about You capped behind my eyes... locked away beneath my tongue.

And all the while your name stays at the very tip of it. The very back and front of my mind.. and You're there. Every thought, for You or against You, eventually turns to You. How unrelenting Your love is.

a final thought:
"The King Beetle on a Coconut Estate" by mewithoutYou

As the moon rose and the hour grew late,
the day-help on the coconut estate
raked up the dried leaves that fell dead from the trees
which they burned in a pile by the lake.
The beetle king summoned his men
and from the top of the rhododendron stem,"
Calling all volunteers who can carry back here,
the great mystery has been lit once again."

One beetle emerged from the crowd in a fashionable abdomen shroud.
Said, "I'm a professor, see, that's no mystery to me,
I'll be back soon successful and proud."
But when the beetle professor returned,
he crawled on all six as his wings had been burned
and described to the finest detail all he'd learned
there was neither a light, nor a heat in his words.

The deeply dissatisfied king
climbed the same stem to announce the same thing
but in his second appeal sought to sweeten the deal
with a silver ring.

The lieutenant stepped out from the line
as he lassoed his thorax with twine
thinking, "I'm stronger and braver and I'll earn the king's favor.
One day all he has will be mine."

But for all the lieutenant's conceit,
he too returned singed and admitting defeat.
"I had no choice, please believe, but retreat
it was bright as the sun, but with ten times the heat
and it cracked like the thunder and bloodshot my eyes
though smothered with sticks, it advanced undeterred
carelessly cast an ash cloud to the sky, my lord,
like a flock of dark birds."

The beetle king slammed down his fist,
"Your flowery description is no better than his!
We sent for the great light and you bring us this!
We didn't ask what it seems like, we asked what it is!"

His majesty's hour at last is drawn nigh
the elegant queen took her leave from his side.
Without understanding, but without asking why
gathered their kids to come bid their goodbyes
and the father explained,

"You've been somewhat deceived.
We've all called me your dad, but your true dad's not me.
I laid next to your mom and your forms were conceived,
your Father's the light within all that you see.
He fills up the ponds as he empties the clouds.
Holds without hands, and He speaks without sounds.
He provides us with the cow's waste and coconuts to eat
giving one that nice salt taste, and the other is sweet.
Sends the black carriage the day death shows its face
thinning our numbers with kindness and grace.
And just as a flower and its fragrance are one,
so must each of you and your Father become.
Now distribute my scepter, my crown, and my throne
and all we've known as wealth to the poor and alone."

Without further hesitation, without looking back home,
the king flew headlong into the blazing unknown.
And as the smoke king curled higher and higher
the troops flying loops round the telephone wires
they said, "Our beloved's not dead, but his highness instead,
has been utterly changed into fire."
Why not be utterly changed into fire?