In Want of Better Things.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

-Luke 10:38-42

The final verse of what is shared above came into my head, and the immediate thought that followed was a phrase Bill Johnson uses in his book Dreaming With God, about Martha "making sandwiches that Jesus didn't order." Many studies have been done on these verses, and with good reason-- it speaks on very deep matters of the heart. It even references, indirectly, to a verse in both Matthew and Luke that says, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." What our heart meditates on, what we entangle ourselves with, that is the very thing that will consume us.

Mary sits bold, fearless, and deep in love with the Father that Jesus not only speaks of, but emulates, seeing the man who has deep communion with a God that, until now, she has only heard about. She sees the very heart and soul of Christ, probably in deep knowing but simultaneously unaware of the weight of His presence. There she is, like a little girl, sitting at Christ's feet. Have you ever felt so free in the presence of someone who enabled you to see the world for all that it should be? Have you ever been around someone who made you feel the most like you were meant to be? I've no doubt that Mary was experiencing this for herself, perhaps for the very first time in her life.

I don't think Mary was the free-spirited hippie she seems to be when in comparison with Martha. We want to compare the two, and maybe we should, but for once lets not. To me, they very much embody the entirety of a relationship with God. Does not every person who has truly experienced the love of God KNOW that only one thing is needed? It was the very grace, mercy, justice, and love that brought us to Him in the first place. We have tasted and seen, we have known of the sweet goodness that transcends explanation or understanding.

And yet...

What do we struggle with most consistently? Overwhelmed with self, with circumstances that seem so beyond our control and understanding, concerned moreso with doctrinal debates and who is the most correct than with the one who set us free from the heavy burden of being right or wrong, of needing the affirmation that our knowledge is the very seed of our salvation.. for, my intellectual friends, it is important to know, but knowing is not what saved us. God's revelation, not by our own understanding or by anything that we can attain, was given to us in mercy and love, so that we could answer with confidence to be "fishers of men" or as in Isaiah, to reply with a loud cry, "Here I am, send me!"... It was God who first reached out to us and compelled us to it all. He came once, and comes again and again, to me just as I am, then loves me enough not to let me live and die that way. I often have the want to know all, to be the most correct, and it breaks my heart to ever have disagreements with believers, or anyone for that matter... but that is not the one thing, just the same. God saved us from ourselves to enable us to be the most like who we were called to be. When we sit at the feet of Christ and listen, this is our enabling, this is what gives us the ability to answer the call.

But the call is not even the main thing! Do not ever be so transfixed on the calling in your life or the tasks on the to-do list that you forget the true calling, the first and foremost-- that Christ calls us to Himself. To be His bride.. To love Him first, and then to love our neighbors as ourselves. These are the greatest two commandments Christ gave us, because love is not done out of duty. Sonship means we act out of love, slavery means we act out of duty. When we act out of love, we excel and succeed "exceedingly and abundantly" as David did while under the authority of King Saul. David's heart, despite his circumstances and all that stood against him, knew where his strength lay... in the one thing.

It all comes back to this deep love, the same love that compels us to learn, to live without fear of being wrong, to know that He is guiding our steps and that no matter what the daily duties or the heavy weight of our destiny may be. What seems impossible to us, whatever weighs so heavy on our hearts... on my heart (I'm bringing the language back to me, as this is a reflection on my own struggles of my own heart, not about anyone else, heh) these are silly distractions. When I'm struggling with these things before God, when I'm so "worried and upset about many things", they are silly distractions keeping me from the one, the only, the very best thing... I'm stripping the love and grace out of the equation. I am sitting there TELLING God by my actions and meditations who I am, instead of allowing Him to do one of the things He does best... set me free with His love. Compel me with His grace. I am crippling the Spirit in me that longs to reflect the most of God's goodness, to look the most like eternity as God has desired me to look when He formed me in the womb. To be the most satisfied, so that others can be enabled to be the same.

In order to be a salve, to be a light, to be salt, to the earth... in order to complete the calling to go out, I must remember the calling that brought me here in the first place: The God of Heaven and earth that changes my very heart and soul, that saw me as I was and loved me both in spite of and because of, this trinity that I cannot comprehend. The one who teaches me how to be all these things because He was first these very things to me.