The honest rants of an honest girl, for what they're worth

Men. I want to throw up my hands and walk away and push them out of my life forever.

And I can't. Because there they are, a part of my community. My brothers, my friends.

Somehow that gets tainted, and it throws bleach all over a pretty picture-- it ruins everything.

You have to worry about how men will interpret things,

everything you do is to be watched and considered.

With your best friend of the same sex, you can say anything-- do anything.

You are free to fully be yourself, all boundaries considered.

With men, you can't do that. You're not allowed to do that.

New Boundaries, exclusive to dealing with men, have to come up... and most of the time that's uncomfortable.

There's a real fine line that both parties like to cross for various reasons.

Flirtation for self-affirmation: A HUGE, GIGANTIC NO-NO.

men, how deadly a weapon you choose. Christian men, you should know better.

and then... who hasn't done it? We find someone attractive, we might not be attracted,

but where's the harm in getting a little confidence boost from telling a witty joke to someone we know will laugh? or hanging out with a person because we know they'll affirm us...

Yeah right. Where's the harm in it? You're either A)crushing that person inside, B) leading them on, or C) taking the situation to where it need not go... because we both know it's going nowhere.

Best advice, be up front with your community, same and opposite sex alike. Let your intentions be pure and true. "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman (or man) who fears the Lord is worthy to be praised."

I don't even know where to go with this. I think this is years of frustration with men being vocalized, with recent events only pushing my negative views to the forefront.

It's hard to even desire a relationship, and at the same time--

a girl's heart is a human heart nonetheless.

Desires the ideals without having to commit to the imperfections of reality...

sad, isn't it.

It's mostly just a thought that disappoints.

And girls... women all around me wishing for their fairy tale to end happily ever after.

Prince Charming comes and you're swept off your feet, not a hair out of a place or a drop of sweat on his brow. The two of you ride off into the sunset, all smiles and rainbows.

Wrong, darlings, your life, your ministry, your destiny do not revolve around a man.

It won't even make the quality of your life better, a relationship is a beautiful life experience created by God,

but it's not the end all-be all.

Then women overanalyze,

get their hearts broken before anything ever even began.

Many a good friendship has been destroyed because of such conflicts.

I'm just sick of it, and I swear... it follows me around.

I just want it out in the open-- if you pursue a girl, commit to the pursuit, don't be wishy washy, don't be passive... be a MAN.

if you want to be pursued, pursue God.

"Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." -James 4:8

That's not some excuse to get your mind off of your future, that's simply to give you perspective.

Do you love yourself enough to even be able to love someone else?

Are you in a place in your life where you can even manage a relationship?

Is having a relationship the thing that consumes your actions, motives, and thoughts towards the opposite sex?

If so.... and we all go through this, so don't feel guilty about it... just realize you're not the only who has these feelings, you're not alone, and you're not going to be alone forever so stop being afraid that God forgot about you or thinking that He wants you to be single. Just be at peace.

The most attractive thing, to both men and women, is genuine self-confidence.

Pure truth. I may talk a lot, but I don't say things just to say them.

In light of Valentine's Day, this is my blog that missed the 14th. Get perspective, ladies and gentlemen... true intentions, and knowing that you don't need someone to validate who you are.

Your true self was made to have community with people, and community with God. Those two things are eternal. You were not meant to be solely wrapped up in another person or even to be completely by yourself in this world.

²⁹"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. ³⁰Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'³¹The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'There is no commandment greater than these."

Mark 12:29-31

Just some things I've been thinking about. If this doesn't apply to you, don't worry about it. If this does apply to you, I'm not talking about you in specific... just speaking in general, from and observational standpoint. It is what it is, don't be offended by it. If you are, ask yourself why you are. What injustice have I done? My blog paints my personal frustrations and thoughts for the moment, as fleeting as my existence. Don't think my words or actions are the definite answer to everything, simply test what I've said... and if you feel it's true in your heart, take it as is. If not, then don't.

Whatever you choose, know that you are loved. Know that my frustrations are only ever with myself and in my own life expressed out of love and a deep deep desire to see growth and progress in my own life and, hopefully, through my own growth, I can help others to grow, too.