The World Spins Madly On

It hurts to miss you.

You were one of my best friends.... one of the only friends left in home town.

I counted it out the other day--seven years, give or take.

Remember what I said? All I had left back home were guy friends, and you were the only one who hadn't tried anything.

I met you freshman year, computer class. You talked about Incubus, and we became fast friends.

You were the first guy my parents let me hang out at their place past midnight. You were probably the only guy.

We would hang out at your place in the summer, lay out by the pool for hours listening to Jack Johnson, speaker blaring from an open window that led to your bedroom.

You graduated early. You, Ashley, and Kristine were my dearest friends and none of you were at prom. It seemed half of a memory without you guys. I remember thinking that over and over that night. I wished you hadn't been in such a hurry to get out of there.

You disappeared for a while, so did I. You called me from New York at one point, you'd been sick. Your mom came to visit. You told me not to worry, you weren't upset with your mom anymore, for whatever reason you'd been upset with her back in high school.

She hated your long hair. It made me laugh.

I've got pictures of us-- the only pictures I can seem to find-- the week before high school.

Your hair was longer than mine. We took the most ridiculous pictures.. they didn't even make sense haha.

You took me to my first field party in high school. That was so stupid... we spent half the time scared the cops would show. We thought we were so cool with our underage drinking. You goofball

Remember that January you called me up and saved me from the most miserable New Years/ Christmas Break I'd had in a long time? You asked me to go with you to Nashville, Of Montreal was playing that night. We went, you drove there and back. We got coffee and that sweet little shop and you smoked your cigarettes, telling me to try soy in my latte. We saw Daniel Shea and his girl at the show. I can't remember now if we were meeting up with them or not, but it was so good just to be out with you. You drove us home, no questions asked. I tried to stay awake and you insisted that I fall asleep. You smoked cigarette after cigarette. Warm coffee made you sleepier, you said.

Flash forward to last summer. I ran into you on my way to work, you saw me and kissed me on the cheek-- you yankee, I couldn't help but be excited to see you... for some reason I thought you were still in New York. I yelled at you for not telling me you were leaving. You were the only friend I had left in home town. I found out you were around and it was TROUBLE. You'd met Beni, found a girl you liked. You were grinning ear to ear as you told me about the older woman in your life. She was a bartender, you'd bragged. It was the beginning of a beautiful summer. You were totally different than the Mike I grew up with, yet somehow still the same. You caught me up on everything, comments about your life and the people in it. You loved them so much, even with all the frustrated comments you had to say about anything.

You were there for me after the boy trouble. In fact, I had dinner with you right after the final talk with boy. He made me feel miserable, but you were all smiles. You surprised me with Kelleyanne, and Natasha was our waitress.

That girl cut your hair too short and you were so upset. We went to the new mall to find a hat for you. I can't believe how many shirts you ended up buying that summer. haha I think that was the first time I met Beni... no, wait, I met her at the pool-- the first time I saw that apartment.

You asked for my help in looking for an apartment, all those cool places in Five Points and i thought for sure you'd pick one of those. Helped you fix up the old place. I finally saw the new one this Christmas. It was the last time I saw you, you made dinner for Eric, Kelleyanne, and I. You had it fixed up so nice. That fat cat was still around, and you talked to it like a baby, insulting it all the while you talked to it. We were going to watch a movie but somehow it turned into guy night, so Kelleyanne and I ditched. I said I'd see you later.

You never farted in front of me in high school. All that we'd been through and you never burped or farted. I came around this summer, and you had all this new found freedom. You laughed like a five year old every time, it never failed. You had the nastiest farts, but I couldn't help but laughed because you thought it was so funny.

I missed your birthday, you missed mine. I told you we'd meet up for a steak dinner with wine in the summer. It was just getting warmer, summer's almost here. The beautiful weather reminds me of you, and all the great times we shared from last summer.

You were one of my dearest friends, and I can't begin to tell you how much I love you. How much I'll miss you. How much I think about you now. Home town reminds me of you, every beautiful thing about home just reminds me of you and some memory we had. It's hard, and I miss you. I hope I can learn to celebrate the things that remind me of you. You brought so much joy into my life, mister, and I'll never forget that.

I'll never forget that.